I’m going to be a father. What in the world?!

Holy cow, Batman! You’re gonna be a dad!

2022’s been a heck of a year. Got COVID on day 2, found out we’re having a baby 1 week later.

When people ask me how I felt when my wife Rachel told me, I never really know what to say. Stating I was excited is true. Telling them I was overjoyed is true. Also saying my life flashed before my eyes is true.

This moment was the thing I’ve been dreaming of for a long, long time. It was always such a far away idea that I’d always say “one day.” Well, that day came.

We found out on February 9th that our little “nugget” was excited to be alive, and we heard its heartbeat. I had a clear view of the screen while my wife was undergoing a sonogram (which did not seem like a comfortable experience…), yet I still cocked my neck and squinted my eyes at the screen like I was gonna miss something. Dad moves.

That little guy or gal was buggin’. Heart beat was up because the little thing doesn’t even know how to control that yet, but they will, one day.

I thanked God for blessing us this far. The two of us realize this kind of situation is one of joy for many, but also one of sorrow for others. We recognize this and want to be as respectful to everyone going through a pregnancy, good or bad.

I put a Facebook status that “I love chicken nuggets. How bout you?” I love confusing people and making them think. I hope a lot of my Facebook friends said “what the hell is he talking about?” In a few weeks when we officially announce our little nugget, it will all make sense. Shoot, I’m not even going to publish this article for a couple more weeks, if I even post it at all (Obviously, it’s March 2nd and I’m finally getting around to it).

This might just be a way for me to remember this moment. A way that I can go back when things get foggy, and remember the way I felt.

I haven’t been nervous through this process, yet.

If it’s anything like my wedding day, I’ll be extremely confident and calm until the last minute when everything rushes to my brain and I’m just a mess, crying like a baby.

I guess now would be a good time to write my little nugget a note from this day, maybe I’ll give it to them one day, or maybe they’ll read it on the interwebs.

Little one, I’ve prayed for you everyday, even since before you were created. I asked God for a wife to love, and he gave me the one I cannot live without. I asked God to soften my heart, as oftentimes I can be stern and “stoic,” but here I am holding back tears while writing this to you. Your mom and I love you with everything we have. We won’t be perfect parents, but we will try to be the best parents we can be. We’ve both learned different lessons through this thing called life, I just hope everything we’ve gone through has prepared us to love you unconditionally. I want you to know that I am proud of you, I am always there for you, and even when I’m gone, I will still love you with all my heart. Be nice to your mother, because she’s got a soft heart. Take your anger out on me, and let her be the one to hold you when you think your dad is being annoying or mean. I will always protect the two of you (and hopefully your future siblings). We are so excited for you to be here!

Since I began this article, we have publicly announced our baby, and we have hit the 12 week mark.

It’s been a true joy to see Rachel embrace motherhood. She’s so excited for our little one, but there are fears that come with that excitement. I pray I can be a calming place for her to turn to, and that God can anchor us both as we embark on this new journey.